The Fear of Your Future (Itisha Sehdev)

As a senior in high school, it can feel lonely, wondering if or when I’ll escape the exhausting, overthinking cycle. I am in that lovely phase of life where my mind is all over the place; worrying about universities, applications, jobs, opportunities, and more. There are so many aspects to my fear of the future, even beyond school. I stress about my friends, my family, and all the things I love that I have to leave behind when I graduate. I overthink like there’s no tomorrow, and that is something I struggle to admit sometimes. But I know it’s true, and I know it only ruins my day.

Even outside of being seventeen, I know that a certain level of fear remains in all of us through multiple stages of life. When I was younger, I was worried about high school. Now, I’m worried about university. Later, I’ll be worried about a job and a family and bills and all the other endless, incredible things life has to offer. Fear is a normal part of being human, maybe even an essential one. But it should never take away from you enjoying your surroundings.

I can’t speak on anyone’s experience besides mine, so I’ll be honest about how it affects my life. My tendency to freak myself out ruins lots of experiences for me, in many ways. If I get super anxious over a test or a grade, it leads to a long panic over my entire future and how it is totally and completely “doomed.” Which, in turn, causes me to do things like be a buzzkill while hanging out with friends, cause unnecessary arguments with my family, and just ruin my mood for the rest of the day. All of this, just because it’s so easy for me to lose myself in a spiral over how my future rests in my hands.

This idea haunts me every second of every day, and it does nothing but ruin everything. My mood, my energy around people, my attitude towards… well, everything, and causes me to be upset for long periods of time. My fear inevitably takes away my happiness, and has done so for so long that I can’t remember a time I wasn’t constantly anxious over my future. It has ruined time with my friends, core high school experiences, and lots of other moments where I should have been having fun, not crying over an 82% on a math test.

I know that perspective is everything, but where I am now makes it so easy for me to think that school is everything. The determinant of my life, the basis of my self worth- and that is synonymous with other phases of life: maybe your job feels like everything, maybe money feels like everything. Of course it isn’t, but we as humans have this urge to prioritize things in unhealthy ways, according to what we fear/love most, and they tend to go hand in hand at times.

Fear of the future is something we all face, and is exactly what ruins the present for us. Our feelings of being scared root from the things we love; you’re afraid because you don’t want to lose something you love, or you want to achieve something you know you’ll love. Though this may motivate us in a manner other emotions cannot, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your happiness or peace of mind with your life now.

For me, the only way to deal with these fears is by taking it one step at a time. For instance, I’m someone who stresses over the variety of responsibilities I have to accomplish. The only way for me to get rid of my fear of not completing everything is to organize a schedule and prioritize my tasks accordingly. If a grade I got back really upset me, I try my best to let it go as fast as possible and not agonize over it- in all fairness, I’m still working on this one, but I’m improving slowly. Then, in as positive a manner as I can manage, I figure out how to get a better one next time.

Now for everyone, make sure you have a way to relieve your stress. Ensure that you’re keeping enough time for yourself, to unwind and reflect and take a break. Oftentimes we forget to take care of ourselves through the chaos we do and think day after day. But it’s important to breathe, and recognize you’re doing your best. You’ve got this.

It’s not as simple as saying “stop being scared,” because no human can just entirely turn off the emotion. It’s more about embracing it and using it in healthy doses. If your fear inspires you to work hard, then use it. If your fear is getting in the way of your mental health and happiness, find ways to overcome it little by little so you can still enjoy your authentic self in the moment. 

Fear of the future, as irritatingly stubborn as it may be, is normal. Understand it, but then keep living your life with a smile on your face. The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time :)