Coping With Anxiety At Gatherings (Jennifer)

If you’re like me, the words "get together" and "party" are not your favorite words. And those words seem to pop up a lot this time of year. Many of us spend the holidays going from one house to another. We’re either entertaining or being entertained, and all the while, our insides are twisting with stress and anxiety. If being with groups of people makes you anxious and stressed, here are some things to remember.

 1. Feeling anxious at parties or around groups of people does not make you a bad person.

I used to think, "What’s wrong with me?" "Why do I get anxious at big family get-togethers?" For me, the simple answer is social anxiety. The reason you don’t feel comfortable at get-togethers could be anxiety or it could be something else. Whatever it is, you are not a bad person for feeling that way. It’s okay not to be thrilled about that party coming up. It’s okay to feel less than enthusiastic about that big family get-together. Those feelings are valid, and it’s perfectly okay to feel them.

 2. Bring something along to comfort you when you get anxious

Children often have blankies and toys that comfort them. Well, I think adults should have the same. There are several things you could bring to a get-together that might help you when you feel yourself getting anxious. It could be a smooth rock, a mini stuffed animal, a book, or a picture of something you love. There are really so many things that you could bring. It’s just a matter of what brings you calm and what you feel comfortable bringing.

 3. Step away or step outside.

 If you feel you need a break, take one. Go outside, go to another room, or even go to your car. Bring some headphones and listen to a meditation or a few songs. Take some deep breaths or go for a short walk or drive. Tell the other guests you’ll be back in 10 minutes and do what you need to do to center yourself.

 4. It’s okay to leave.

You need to do what’s best for your mental health. If that means leaving the party early, then that’s OK. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to leave and go home.

5. Bring a safe person.

Is there someone who you can bring to the get-together? Someone who automatically eases your anxiety when they’re by your side? A therapist once told me that this was called a "safe person." That person makes you feel safe, comfortable, and at ease. It could be a friend, relative, spouse, or even an animal.

Anxiety is tough, and there’s nothing to make it completely go away. However, I hope these five suggestions help you during the holiday and that you experience true peace and joy during the holiday. Even if you need to step outside or leave the party to experience it.