Mastering Intrusive Thoughts: A strategy to manage (and even master) your intrusive thoughts (Doreen)
When you hear the term “intrusive thoughts,” what comes to mind? Are they something that creep in slowly, or do they jump into the forefront of your mind? Do intrusive thoughts happen before sleep, or are they completely random? However you experience intrusive thoughts, there are steps you can take to process them in a helpful (and less intrusive) way.
A common understanding of intrusive thoughts is any type of thought that comes to mind that is uninvited and needs to be “stopped.” But the intrusive thought usually is prompted by something — a sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, memory, totally random, or even a dream.
Sometimes I experience a disturbing dream, waking up disoriented and upset. Sometimes hearing a word will remind me of that one time I embarrassed myself, and I am left feeling ashamed all over again. This cause-and-effect can happen to people dozens of times a day — it sure has for me. How can I stop the loop? Is there a way to lessen these distractions that affect my mood? How do I untangle the thick knot of my intrusive thoughts and free myself from them?
The first step to manage intrusive thoughts is to recognize them. Some examples of intrusive thoughts include:
Imposter syndrome — thinking that you are not qualified or deserving, even though you clearly are
Talking down to yourself — telling yourself that you are a loser, not good enough, or deserve to be treated badly
Guilt — having guilty thoughts for normal human reactions/emotions, such as anger, sadness, or lust
Memories — memories coming up (seemingly out of nowhere) that make you feel upset, lonely, depressed, anxious, or confused
I spent years struggling with various intrusive thoughts that resulted in negative emotions. Now, I have developed a way to process intrusive thoughts and it has helped tremendously. Through the process of writing and reflecting, I am able to identify themes, trends, and really explore the deeper meaning of any intrusive thoughts. And — you guessed it — by following this process many times, my intrusive thoughts (hello, fear of rejection!) don’t come to visit me as often.
Here are the list of questions that I follow. (Don’t worry, I’ve uploaded a free printable worksheet for you here)!
What time of day did the intrusive thought happen? Circle one. (Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Night, Evening, Middle of Night)
What was your intrusive thought? Describe it.
What prompted the invasive thought? Circle all that apply. (Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste, Memory, Dream, Random)
How does this intrusive thought make you feel? Circle all that apply. (Angry, Upset, Confused, Lonely, Disgusted, Frustrated, Depressed, Anxious, Betrayed, Sad, Annoyed, Livid, Irritated, Lost, Grief, Hurt, Disappointed, Uncomfortable, Scared, Overwhelmed)
Explain in detail why this intrusive thought made you feel that way.
How do you think you handled this intrusive thought?
Any further reflections on this invasive thought?
So, which intrusive thoughts visit you? Do they come in a dream, or show up when you’re about to fall asleep? Do they happen every day, or once in a blue moon?
Regardless of how frequently intrusive thoughts happen, you matter.
When a memory of an upsetting situation pops into your mind, you matter.
When you experience a terrifying dream, you matter.
When a photo reminds you of betrayal, you matter.
You will always matter.