Putting Yourself First (Elena)

As a student, I juggle many classes, people, and situations every day. It was easy to put myself to the side, as turning in assignments and having to collaborate with people took up so much of my time. This was especially true this winter while I was working as a Varsity Basketball Manager. Right after school, I would go straight to the court and prepare practices and games, and I’d run around communicating with athletic officials for our matches. I had been a manager for three years already, but this year, I noticed that I wasn’t enjoying myself; rather, being a manager became a strain on my body. After noticing it, I chose to ignore my feelings for the benefit of the team, and it caused me to push myself behind into a place where I would lose the joy I once had for the sport. I didn’t know at the time, but it would cost me a lot of my happiness. However, it sparked a period of growth where I would learn to put myself first. 

It may seem self-explanatory and unimportant, but putting yourself first is a critical step when dealing with any day-to-day issue. Now, putting yourself first does not mean ignoring all those around you and only thinking about yourself; instead, it consists of treating yourself and your emotions as important factors when making decisions. You are your greatest possession, and it is only right to treat yourself with the utmost respect and care. As such, putting yourself first creates an equilibrium between you and the world – one where you are happy and can thrive in your day-to-day life. 

Understand Yourself 

The first step in putting yourself first, or PYF, is to take a step back and reflect. Think about what you are doing and how you feel about it. Acknowledge your likes and dislikes while also finding where you are most comfortable. Look around you and see who you have or are around, thinking about what you think of them. Reflecting allows a person to better understand themselves and gives them time to think about small details that are likely ignored with the fast pace of life. If ignored, these small details make life a lot harder than it has to be. 


For me, I knew I loved managing and watching basketball, so the issue didn’t lie there. In addition, I was content with my tasks and could execute them with no problem, so no issue there. On the bus ride home after a game, I came to the realization that the thing that bothered me so much was one of my “friends” who was also a coworker. I was uncomfortable with some of the comments she made and her actions, but I pushed it to the side as it seemed unimportant. It was the accumulation of these small details that took the joy out of my job, and I knew the only way to make myself feel better was to take action for myself.

Taking Action for Yourself

After understanding yourself, the next step in putting yourself first is taking action. Taking time to pamper yourself throughout the day, engaging in activities that increase your happiness, and getting proper rest are some ways to put yourself first. Removing yourself from situations where you feel uncomfortable or unwanted can help you relieve yourself of a hidden burden. Sometimes, the actions we need to take aren’t the easiest or most pleasant, but if you find yourself realizing that it is necessary after reflecting, then you must take the first step for yourself. 


This is what I thought about as I was deciding how to deal with my emotions. I knew I still had to work with this person, and I refused to just drop my job and leave, so I decided to distance myself. I no longer considered or treated her as a friend; rather, she was just someone I worked with. I removed myself from situations where her actions and words were unpleasant and briefly told her that I had no interest in hearing her rash comments on others. It took a lot of strength, and other friends questioned me for my actions, except I found myself relieved of the burden that clouded my heart when I did. 

The Importance of You

I went back to enjoying basketball and all its ups and downs on the court after distancing myself. I focused on what I could do and what I loved as I moved forward and ended the season with a great game. After going through that dilemma, I found that I put myself first in many other situations I was dealing with. Putting yourself first is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It can spark a large period of growth that can fill your life with positive moments and memories. It may seem evident, but it's extremely easy to fall into a negative cycle of self-ignorance. Learning the importance of you and taking care of yourself can change your world for the better and make life all the more better. 


If you are feeling down and need support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here at
Letters Against Depression if you haven’t already. We send letters of hope and support to those who need someone there for them. You can request to receive letters here.

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