Commitments, Intentions, and Values For Better Mental Health (Tonya Gulbranson)
COMMITMENTS, VALUES, & INTENTION
There is so much research and evidence that shows the following concepts and ideas can boost mental health and help us make changes for better long-term mental health. My challenge to you is to put some action and commitment towards values, purpose, intention, and meaningfulness. Consider the following prompts for daily or weekly accountability and focus. You can even use these as prompts for a journal or discussion with a trusted friend. If any of these start to make you feel worse, confused or uncomfortable, stop and do some grounding or distraction exercises. Find some practical ideas on this site.
Start slow and set yourself up for success.
Just some ideas to consider when setting up a plan using the prompts below (but nothing is set in stone. Do what works for you):
1) Pick one prompt per week or per day to focus on, make a plan for, and/or journal about it.
2) Write out each prompt on a sticky note and then put them in random places in your house, your car, your work, your bathroom, on your fridge. Make sure the places are random so that you will happen upon them unexpectedly. This will allow you to be mindful of them, your attention AND your intention.
Prompts and examples (in red) as follows:
● What are you grateful for today? (even the simple or mundane)
It may take take a moment to think of something, esp if you are struggling.
○ I took a nap with my dog in a hammock
○ I sang at the top of my lungs to an old song
○ I have fresh water available to me every day
○ My neighbor remembered my birthday and gave me a candle. ○ The trees outside look so graceful when the wind blows in the afternoon. ○ I watched a silly video on-line.
● Identify something good about YOU, a strength, a passion, a value, a kindness, a step in the healthy direction, a way you have survived, thrived, been resilient, something someone has said they appreciate about you. It does not have to be earth-shattering, magnificent or all the time. It just has to “be”. Write it down on something or say it out loud. If you need ideas, do a google search for “personal strengths”. There is a lot out there and it may remind you that YOU ARE WORTHY AND HAVE STRENGTHS.
○ I was able to laugh at myself in a way that I could not have done a year ago.
○ I took time to call a friend who was having a tough time.
○ I taught myself how to say 3 phrases in ASL (thanks, youtube)
○ I was calm and removed myself when dealing with a toxic family member.
● Make one simple, positive commitment to yourself. Make it specific, realistic, and measurable. It can be simple. It can be free. Set a day and a time to honor your promise to yourself. Have a back-up time and day in case the 1st one does not happen. (Kind of a raincheck)
Some themes are (but not limited to): Self-care, Joy , fun, love, health, compassion, laughter, creativity
○ I will watch that self-compassion video that my therapist keeps telling me about (it’s only 20 min long)
○ I will take an hour on thurs am before my shift to listen to explore some new music on-line.
○ I will take 30 min to read some short stories in the book that I ordered 6 mos ago.
○ I will take a shower with my new mint body wash tonight after my meeting ■ Example of a back-up plan: If my original plan doesn’t work out, I will do it on Saturday morning
● Make a plan and commitment for something you need to do or would benefit you, or something you have been dreading, avoiding, putting off, making excuses for. Break it down into smaller, digestible pieces. Set a day and time to follow-through on this commitment (like in the previous item) If you notice feelings of dread, discomfort, anxiety, tell yourself that you are CHOOSING discomfort, which can make it more tolerable (and more likely to get done!)
○ I will set an appt to have my mammogram done/teeth cleaned. ○ I will call my son’s school and ask for a conference with his teacher ○ I will spend 15 minutes getting my tax paperwork together.
■ I will do this on Tues morning (back-up plan: I will do it Friday after dinner)
● Make a plan for a simple & small act of something outside of yourself like kindness, paying it forward, showing appreciation. A compassionate word or action. A gesture that honors this value.
○ I will put a silly note on my coworker’s desk so she sees it in the morning. ○ I will give 2 items away that I am longer using to my local “Buy Nothing” group or charity.
○ I will send an email to my local representative about an issue I am concerned about (I can use a template if I am unsure of what to say)
The possibilities are endless and you may come up with some of your own. Perhaps, ask someone to be your accountability partner: a therapist, a friend, a relative, etc. There are even websites where you can sign up to get and to be accountability partners for people setting goals.
Here is to you and your best version of you. You deserve it!