LESS THAN (Kim)

My Dearest Friend,

Words are inadequate to fully express how much I admire you. You have the widest smile and unending drive. Your bright personality simply lights up whatever room you're in. Your dedication to others is legendary. You are always there when someone needs you. Whether it's your parents asking for help, your siblings needing you to step up for something or other, your own child needs you, or your work placing unreasonable expectations on you. You still manage to rock it all! You give your heart and soul to those around you. I am in awe of your good nature.

I'm so happy to hear from you! It seems we haven't really gotten a chance to talk or hang out lately. I know, you're busy doing all those things that make you a spectacular person. I'm so glad you've reached out. I've really missed you.

I wasn't expecting your message, but I've known something has been off for a bit. I was not surprised by your admissions. I remember the last time we were able to meet and you told me how you needed to make some changes in your love life. I wanted the best for you. I still want the best for you. I thought you were done, but I guess one more time was needed.

This is a difficult time for you. It can be hard for me to know how to support you through these changes you are experiencing. I know you've been having a hard time lately. Breaking out of a bad situation can take a lot more time and energy than people give it.

I'm so honored you came to me for some life advice. I love that you trust me to be so honest. I'm going to be here for you, when you need me, and when you don't.

I am dismayed by your current situation. I didn't know you felt unsafe in your own home or that you felt like it was a jail. I didn't know you felt that you couldn't talk to your own child in the company of others. I wasn't aware you felt like you had to walk on eggshells, felt you were being constantly surveilled, and had to make excuses to get out.

I am enraged that someone ever made you feel less than you are. Your shine is still there. It glows under the guise you have designed. Your warm personality simmers. Your smile is still wide, even if there is some sadness lingering in your eyes.

You are not diminished by the actions of others. You are still fighting. You still know right from wrong. You know your network is there to support you. You might be confused or overwhelmed or scared, but if you reach out, people will be there.

These words may fall on deaf ears now, but I hope they will resonate with you in time. You- YOU - are incredible. YOU are not a loser. YOU should NOT be ashamed. YOU are free to speak your truth. So what if others don't believe you or support you. I DO! I believe that this situation is unsustainable and unhealthy. I believe you want out and don't want to ask for help. I believe you when you say you are suffering and struggling and sad about how things have turned out. I believe in your story. I believe you can still triumph.

This situation does not make you less than you have been. This makes you human.

My Dearest Friend - you are not alone. You matter. Your words and actions and being matter. I am here for you, when you need me, and when you don't. I know you, the real you, and I hope to see them again very soon.

Love,

Your Concerned Friend