It’s Okay to Not Be Okay (Natalie Brooke)
Disclaimer: I’m currently writing about this topic while not being okay. It happens, right? Let’s be honest, It’s not a good feeling at all, but it does get better. I always remember “this too shall pass” when I’m having a down day or two or three. Things will get better. They always do. Even if it seems very bleak, just hold on! Don’t give up.
Introduction:
Many people struggle with their mental health - I do too! No one enjoys “not being okay” but it most definitely is okay to not be okay! I believe it’s also important to be authentic in how you’re feeling too. If you’re struggling - don’t hide it. Talk to your family and friends, make a therapy appointment, etc. Go for a spontaneous drive with a close friend, Facetime with that one that always makes you laugh, have a cleaning party with a friend, or cuddle something soft like a puppy or kitten!! Part of being authentic is being vulnerable and open with yourself and others. And, believe me - you’re so worth it.
If all else fails - request a letter from LAD and we’d be happy to send one your way!
The impact of handwritten letters:
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year…Okay, so who just sung that? I know I did! Haha. I once received a letter in 2014 that encouraged me immensely - I’ve kept it ever since. It was so authentic and real. I’m going to share some excerpts from it in hopes of encouraging y-o-u too!
So, yesterday was tough, today is tough, and let’s be honest - tomorrow’s probably going to be tough too… but hold on, I’m telling you now… you’ve got to dig deep and hold onto all your strength and courage and hope… and hold on tight!
Because, after all is said and done, after all of this is over, after all the bad days that feel never ending have passed - you’re going to realise just how important you are. You matter. What you do matters… so just hold on for now, no fireworks, no “get up and over it”, no “it’s all going to be okay,” Just hold on… and when it passes - be it days, weeks or months… Show up!! And show up big time, because oh my gosh - you matter, and the world has got to know that. Show up and create so much light and love that the darkness can’t get in… Show up and shine! Shine so bright that no one could ever doubt you again. (not even yourself!)
Show up and know with every bone in your body that what you do matters. Oh my dear it’s going to be spectacular!! But until then, you’ve got to hold on. Remember you are loved, important and worthy.
This is a love letter, and this ones for you…
- Rin xo (paperedthoughts on IG)
She also included a card that said “focus on the good” and inside was the following:
“Be soft, do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate… do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness… take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
So how can we encourage ourselves through these tough days, weeks and months and years?
Let yourself feel your feelings.
We all have bad mental health days and times when we struggle to see the good. It’s important to let yourself have these days every now and then. Instead of running from difficult or uncomfortable emotions… let yourself sit with your feelings and have the space to feel and experience them. Give yourself space to figure out these difficult emotions through journaling and other ways. Also, give yourself extra grace throughout these times - don’t be hard on yourself.
“Make room for all emotions – including negative ones. It’s ok not to be happy all the time. Give yourself time to be sad when you are sad, mad when you are mad.” - Heather Schumaker
Be kind to yourself in these times.
It’s so easy to start doubting/judging yourself and beating yourself up on the bad days, which is why it’s oh so important to be kind to yourself in these times. Letting yourself feel these emotions without judgement is the first step to moving past them. Letting yourself cry is important too. It’s such a needed release sometimes, as hard and icky as it can be. Practise some self care, even if it’s just deep breaths or a shower. You got this!
Be mindful of how you speak to yourself as negative thoughts can really affect your mental health. Would you say what you’re saying to yourself to your close friend? The answer is most likely no. Remember to be kind and gentle to yourself - it matters.
Unlearn societal pressures
Society has put a ton of pressure out there to do it all, and to be so much to so many, that somewhere along the line we forget that we are human, with feelings, emotions and hardships. Sometimes the struggle bus is real, but just know that you’re able to get off of it. Tough times don’t last forever. Trust me!
Sometimes we can’t laugh or smile our way through life anymore. There will be times when we feel frustrated, lost, unsure, anxious or sad. There will be hard hours, hard days, even hard months. We must give ourselves judgement free permission to feel these ways, and accept that we aren’t failures because of them. The only thing that isn’t okay is judging ourselves for our feelings and emotions.
All hard days have a purpose.
Dark and difficult times of life are always uncomfortable… we may wonder “why me” or is there a reason for our suffering? I believe there is. Whenever I find myself facing a trial I often come out of it learning a lot. About myself, and others. We have a huge opportunity during times like these to experience true growth. It’s tough but you’re worth it.
For example, a couple things I’ve learned from some of my depressive episodes is that: Baby steps are so important. You’re not going to magically get over something in a day. One saying I absolutely loathe is “pull up your socks!” Excuse me? Depression doesn’t work like that! One simply cannot snap a magic switch and feel better! Ugh.
The other thing I learnt was that I must think of others more than myself. Too often we get caught up in our own problems, and isolate because of them… If only we authentically reached out and shared them with others!! I find that's oh so encouraging for both the other person and y-o-u!!
Reach out to others.
You might be thinking you’re a burden to others, but you most definitely are not! It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to talk to someone about it. It’s okay to write everything down. Or not. It’s okay to be happy, it’s okay to not be okay. Being vulnerable and allowing people in during these times not only helps speed up the healing process, but it strengthens those relationships too! It shows that they can come to you when they’re going through a trial.
Remember, you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’re also way more stronger than you think! But when everything is becoming too much, ask for help! Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or a professional. There’s help out there - you’re never alone.
Key Takeaways from Popular Books & Movies
The children's book “Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.” assures its readers that there's always tomorrow if today is not going their way and that attitude is everything when it comes to tackling frustrating obstacles. This is oh so true - if you’re having a bad day and it’s just not going away - there’s always tomorrow. A good night's sleep is rejuvenating and tomorrow might be brighter. Another lesson to learn through this book is that everyone has bad days, but when you look at things closely they might not be all that bad.
Inside Out has a few lessons of its own.The main one being that we should not avoid being sad. Like the other emotions, sadness is a valued member of the team. Being authentic with ourselves can really be a teaching opportunity. If we can teach ourselves to better understand why we are feeling negatively, we can feel more secure in knowing that it’s okay to feel less than happy. Let’s be honest here - It is always amazing to feel joy, but no one feels joyful all the time! Another one is don’t try to force happiness, there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not happy all the time. It’s more important to prioritise positivity by making time in life for experiences you personally enjoy. Whether it’s drawing, journaling, being with friends and family, or being out in nature. Prioritising positivity doesn’t mean avoiding or denying negative feelings or the situations that cause them. It’s basically about the importance of taking charge of our activities that bring out the joy in us.
Conclusion:
Difficult emotions are a part of life, and it’s okay to not be okay!! Just don’t let the darkness overcome you forever. There’s so much hope! Whether you’re struggling with your mental health, feeling uninspired, or just plain yucky. Letters Against Depressions’ main mission is to help those in need of hope and encouragement through the lost art of letter writing. We promote authenticity in our letters as it’s vastly important to be so. As volunteers, being authentic in writing our letters is key - as we hope to inspire others to live authentically in their pursuit of “happiness,” and in life. LAD brings others together and the community it's built over time is full of authentic love and support. If I knew early on into my mental health journey that it’s okay to not be okay I probably would have given myself more grace… and, not only that - receiving a letter from LAD would have been pivotal in my healing process! You can receive one today! Just sign up - we’d love to hear from you!